I live into the concrete Jungle.
I live among stupid people. The minds are dirty, the feelings are dark, almost doesn't exist. Capitalist thoughts. System has a unfortunate meaning, ROT. Another, rubbish.
Selfishness.
Jack Johnson sings on behalf of me...
"I want to be where the talk of the town
Is about last night when the sun went down
And the trees all dance
And the warm wind blows in that same old sound
And the water below gives a gift to the sky
And the clouds give back every time they cry
And make the grass grow green beneath my toes
And if the sun comes out
I'll paint a picture all about
The colors I've been dreaming of
The hours just don't seem enough
To put it all together
Maybe it's as strange as it seems
And the trouble I find is that the trouble finds me
It's a part of my mind it begins with a dream
And a feeling I get when I look and I see
That this world is a puzzle, I'll find all of the pieces
And put it all together, and then I'll rearrange it
I'll follow it forever
Always be as strange as it seems
Nobody ever told me not to try"
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Sunday, March 07, 2010
About Him
Today I wanna write about him.
He's lovely, I love to feel when his hands are touching my skin, those big hands. We match, it is just perfect the way we fit.
There's something really strong between us. We used to meet along the Uni's corridors, glances... it was everything we had.
Two years has passed, I came back, had no clue... Saw him at the "buteco", side street of the Uni... "We'll study together next year". My eyes couldn't stop looking at his dimples, his sexy dimples... I had no clue. I always thought he was handsome and interesting. But I didn't know he was much more than that... o, I won't interrupt now.
When I knew he asked about me to a common friend, I got exited. Don't know, I really thought about him all day long. About a week after that, I invited this common friend (dear Feijhone Walker) to watch the play which my brother was acting, and...guess! Fejhones brought him as well... HA HA HA. After the play, we went to a bar to have some beers, and we had many many of them. There were about 7 friends, but I only wanted to chat with him. I was having fun, jokes here and there, smiles, he spoke, I retorted, I spoke, he retorted. Ha ha ha... fejhones had to go, he was gonna get a ride, he seemed not to care about leave... but I knew he only seemed. They left. It was on a Friday night. On Sunday, we went out, to a petrol station... more beers, cigar, people around us, desires. Toilet, Sweet Kiss!
The Sweet Kiss, double sweet kiss. This one became a Classic and joined us till this moment I write. The sweetest kiss I've ever got. Then, we were going to the Burger King, and he gave me another surprise kiss, in my shoulder! I loved that, I was in love ! rs.
More than big everything boy, brown skin, sexy dimples, look, voice, smell... he was tempting. After endless hours, off course I had to give him a ride. Then, you know.
He's shown me the most unknown things, feelings, moments, etc. Besides he makes me don't wanna leave him, he gives me his world. And we smoke, we chat, we laugh, we walk along, we meet places, people, we work things out, we create ideas, we share them, and musics, movies, histories, experiences, dreams, friends, days, kisses, bodies.
We share our soul. We are the Ing-Yeng.
It's been almost 4 months.
Off course everything isn't only flowers, we've fought already... differences do exist, I made mistakes, I wasn't clear sometimes, I made a confusion on my mind, I wanted my own world, I wanted him. I couldn't define which one I wanted more. I was bad, I confess. I was a little selfish, but nothing was on purpose.
I had my world, empty. I had him. He also had the world. And he wanted to show it out to me. So, why not to take it? I'd have both things i wanted. Stop thinking Bab's, do it! I did it, he still wanted me, and I wanted him as well... now more then never.
And, the world he gives me is much colorful than the usual. Rodrigo.
=)
He's lovely, I love to feel when his hands are touching my skin, those big hands. We match, it is just perfect the way we fit.
There's something really strong between us. We used to meet along the Uni's corridors, glances... it was everything we had.
Two years has passed, I came back, had no clue... Saw him at the "buteco", side street of the Uni... "We'll study together next year". My eyes couldn't stop looking at his dimples, his sexy dimples... I had no clue. I always thought he was handsome and interesting. But I didn't know he was much more than that... o, I won't interrupt now.
When I knew he asked about me to a common friend, I got exited. Don't know, I really thought about him all day long. About a week after that, I invited this common friend (dear Feijhone Walker) to watch the play which my brother was acting, and...guess! Fejhones brought him as well... HA HA HA. After the play, we went to a bar to have some beers, and we had many many of them. There were about 7 friends, but I only wanted to chat with him. I was having fun, jokes here and there, smiles, he spoke, I retorted, I spoke, he retorted. Ha ha ha... fejhones had to go, he was gonna get a ride, he seemed not to care about leave... but I knew he only seemed. They left. It was on a Friday night. On Sunday, we went out, to a petrol station... more beers, cigar, people around us, desires. Toilet, Sweet Kiss!
The Sweet Kiss, double sweet kiss. This one became a Classic and joined us till this moment I write. The sweetest kiss I've ever got. Then, we were going to the Burger King, and he gave me another surprise kiss, in my shoulder! I loved that, I was in love ! rs.
More than big everything boy, brown skin, sexy dimples, look, voice, smell... he was tempting. After endless hours, off course I had to give him a ride. Then, you know.
He's shown me the most unknown things, feelings, moments, etc. Besides he makes me don't wanna leave him, he gives me his world. And we smoke, we chat, we laugh, we walk along, we meet places, people, we work things out, we create ideas, we share them, and musics, movies, histories, experiences, dreams, friends, days, kisses, bodies.
We share our soul. We are the Ing-Yeng.
It's been almost 4 months.
Off course everything isn't only flowers, we've fought already... differences do exist, I made mistakes, I wasn't clear sometimes, I made a confusion on my mind, I wanted my own world, I wanted him. I couldn't define which one I wanted more. I was bad, I confess. I was a little selfish, but nothing was on purpose.
I had my world, empty. I had him. He also had the world. And he wanted to show it out to me. So, why not to take it? I'd have both things i wanted. Stop thinking Bab's, do it! I did it, he still wanted me, and I wanted him as well... now more then never.
And, the world he gives me is much colorful than the usual. Rodrigo.
=)
Monday, March 01, 2010
Here I am!
Well, here I am. To start this shit. To write not necessarely everyday, but about everyday. It's a little difficult to keep myself disciplined to take the fucking computer in the end of the day, and write. Because I'm still a person with a social life...so, I won't blame myself if I don't come over to tell you how my day was.
Ok, so...lets write it down quickly. Today is a fucking Monday. March First 2010. But I'm gonna start from last Thursday: I woke up at 9.50, my dad told me to take the car to the inspection, even with the front glass broken, and try to pass. I met Rodrigo and we went there. The car wasn't approved. Rodrigo and I went to the supermarket and bought a saundwich, ate, back to the car, I called the machanic, no answer, I drove back, we went to the tire store, no tires, went home, said hello to mama and I drove to the shopping center, we smoked, got stoned, walked and walked through the place, bought clothes (to my friend's marriage), drunk a delicious coffee, drove home, picked up both halfs of the sandwiches from the lunch time, I drove to the uni, I wanted to smoke before Caldeira's class, we did it, went to the studio, teacher's bla bla bla, finished, uni bar, a glass of beer, sobb, shit... said bye, kissed his soft lips, good night.
Friday, quarter to ten am, answered the mobile and woke up. I met Rodrigo at eleven o'clock, went to the Augusta Street, bought 2 lp's of Billie Holliday and 3 good movies. he was late, we walked fast, stop and smoked at a park, walked to meet the Maracatu Crew. Met them, I had the camera and started o take pictures of them, the group were bautiful with maked up eyes with red lines across it from ear to ear. The cortege was really good and i was happy i could take pictures of them, among the city, lost and felling cold. There was lots os photographers, and latter i found out that one of them was Rodrigo's ex girlfriend. Sooooo cool ! I was so jellows, but I didn't demonstrate it. I kept up... it was natural, I don't know, who never had an ex ? Twilight, suddently was dark. He said bye and we went to his place. My mom was angry bacause of that. We ate pizza, listened to Billie, she was fanstastic, we sarted to watch the "Stomach" but we culdoun't finish it. We had better things to do!
Saturday we got up at 6am. He took a shower, I came home, got ready to the marriage. We got the at 10.30 and it started at 12pm. The people were very unknown, I felt... normal. he was by my side. I was happy for Gunther, but I guess he wasan't for himself, but that's what I think, so It does not metter. My mam was in guarulhos, but we were so tired that it was impossible to meet her, so we went to my place. we didn't know what to do so he was leaving. Leaving? What the hell, it was a SATURDAY ! We went out, ate at Vinicius bakery, then, obviously, his place again. rs. I was worried bout my mom, coz I knew she didn't like I was gonna sleep there, but, shit, it is my life! So he hugged me, he was to whole problem, NO, I was! he's my boyfriend now. We had each other, in the arms, in the life, on his bed. He's brown and charming and I love his big hands. And i love so many other things about him, and I hate many other things as well, but I don't give a fuck about what I hate, coz what I love is muck better and worth and good and wonderful and attractive.
When he woke me up on Sunday, his nieces were there, and his mom. They fell asleep and we went out, met Gordao, a friend of Rodrigo's, smoked, bakery, beers and socker on the tv. Back to his place, every one was gone. Work day, the biggest uni task: TCC! Bloody hell =/ Discussions, gandhia, I was completely smashed. They stayed the till almost 12am ! Of course, I had to stay more 5 minutes, it became the whole night. I sent a text to my mom at 6am on Monday.
He made breakfast, =), i got home about 1.30pm. My mom was cleaning up the floor and looked at me with a disappointed face... he was with me, I took a shower, we went to the bank, I unlocked my credit card, he couldn't solve his problem. Drove home, we ate something and saw shits on the internet, the pictures I took on Friday, it was time to leave, uni time...! Gandhia on the way to the uni, classes and classes and no cigars at all. Flavio went there, we talked after class, it was his birthday. I smoked with Rodrigo and Feijao was there. I gave them a ride to the subway. Good night, see you later. My brother was on the sofa, he's so closed lately. I felt sad, he didn't want to chat. I asked some questions, he answered but he didn't mind... I looked to the tv, the movie was interesting. I came up stairs. I'm very sleepy now.
Ok, so...lets write it down quickly. Today is a fucking Monday. March First 2010. But I'm gonna start from last Thursday: I woke up at 9.50, my dad told me to take the car to the inspection, even with the front glass broken, and try to pass. I met Rodrigo and we went there. The car wasn't approved. Rodrigo and I went to the supermarket and bought a saundwich, ate, back to the car, I called the machanic, no answer, I drove back, we went to the tire store, no tires, went home, said hello to mama and I drove to the shopping center, we smoked, got stoned, walked and walked through the place, bought clothes (to my friend's marriage), drunk a delicious coffee, drove home, picked up both halfs of the sandwiches from the lunch time, I drove to the uni, I wanted to smoke before Caldeira's class, we did it, went to the studio, teacher's bla bla bla, finished, uni bar, a glass of beer, sobb, shit... said bye, kissed his soft lips, good night.
Friday, quarter to ten am, answered the mobile and woke up. I met Rodrigo at eleven o'clock, went to the Augusta Street, bought 2 lp's of Billie Holliday and 3 good movies. he was late, we walked fast, stop and smoked at a park, walked to meet the Maracatu Crew. Met them, I had the camera and started o take pictures of them, the group were bautiful with maked up eyes with red lines across it from ear to ear. The cortege was really good and i was happy i could take pictures of them, among the city, lost and felling cold. There was lots os photographers, and latter i found out that one of them was Rodrigo's ex girlfriend. Sooooo cool ! I was so jellows, but I didn't demonstrate it. I kept up... it was natural, I don't know, who never had an ex ? Twilight, suddently was dark. He said bye and we went to his place. My mom was angry bacause of that. We ate pizza, listened to Billie, she was fanstastic, we sarted to watch the "Stomach" but we culdoun't finish it. We had better things to do!
Saturday we got up at 6am. He took a shower, I came home, got ready to the marriage. We got the at 10.30 and it started at 12pm. The people were very unknown, I felt... normal. he was by my side. I was happy for Gunther, but I guess he wasan't for himself, but that's what I think, so It does not metter. My mam was in guarulhos, but we were so tired that it was impossible to meet her, so we went to my place. we didn't know what to do so he was leaving. Leaving? What the hell, it was a SATURDAY ! We went out, ate at Vinicius bakery, then, obviously, his place again. rs. I was worried bout my mom, coz I knew she didn't like I was gonna sleep there, but, shit, it is my life! So he hugged me, he was to whole problem, NO, I was! he's my boyfriend now. We had each other, in the arms, in the life, on his bed. He's brown and charming and I love his big hands. And i love so many other things about him, and I hate many other things as well, but I don't give a fuck about what I hate, coz what I love is muck better and worth and good and wonderful and attractive.
When he woke me up on Sunday, his nieces were there, and his mom. They fell asleep and we went out, met Gordao, a friend of Rodrigo's, smoked, bakery, beers and socker on the tv. Back to his place, every one was gone. Work day, the biggest uni task: TCC! Bloody hell =/ Discussions, gandhia, I was completely smashed. They stayed the till almost 12am ! Of course, I had to stay more 5 minutes, it became the whole night. I sent a text to my mom at 6am on Monday.
He made breakfast, =), i got home about 1.30pm. My mom was cleaning up the floor and looked at me with a disappointed face... he was with me, I took a shower, we went to the bank, I unlocked my credit card, he couldn't solve his problem. Drove home, we ate something and saw shits on the internet, the pictures I took on Friday, it was time to leave, uni time...! Gandhia on the way to the uni, classes and classes and no cigars at all. Flavio went there, we talked after class, it was his birthday. I smoked with Rodrigo and Feijao was there. I gave them a ride to the subway. Good night, see you later. My brother was on the sofa, he's so closed lately. I felt sad, he didn't want to chat. I asked some questions, he answered but he didn't mind... I looked to the tv, the movie was interesting. I came up stairs. I'm very sleepy now.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Getting Started
When I'm 50 years old, how will I remember of the days I've lived ?
Last night was it was decided: I'm gonna make a blog!
Last night was it was decided: I'm gonna make a blog!
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